


Breaking Point

by Ishyc6h12o6



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:22:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28179060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishyc6h12o6/pseuds/Ishyc6h12o6
Summary: Nagisa always ensures the gentle jibes at his appearance. Didn’t complain about the dresses. But when he’s pushed too far he fights back.Very soon he realises his mistake.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

> Serious trigger warning here. Self harm and suicidal thoughts. Do not read it this will upset you. Sent right after Nagisa crossdressed for Yuji at the festival.

Nagisa squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breath. He was still in the skirt. Thank God he’d gotten away from Karma and Nakamura before they could force him into that maid outfit. He willed his shaking fingers to fix his rumpled shirt. 

He drew his legs to to his chest, sure no one would break through the bathroom door for the express reason to torment him. He was safe for now. He played with the hem of his skirt feeling revulsion ripple through him. What hurt worst? Koro-Sensei has watched. Not only that, but he had taken a picture, smiling that eternal smile. He knew how much Nagisa hated this, he had met his mother last week! 

He dug his nails into this thighs, feeling Yuujis eyes on him. His nails scraped red welts into his skin. 

Not good enough. 

He knew he shouldn’t. He had been so good, for so long.... but he felt the hot shivers all over his body, shudders that wouldn’t stop. 

He was so pathetic. Disgusting. A freak. A failure. No wonder it was so fun to tease him. To hold him down. To... 

“Hold still Nagisa! You’ll look so cute in this! It would make me happy! You want me to be happy don’t you?” 

“Don’t you.” 

He gagged and lunged for the toilet. He emptied his stomach but kept dry heaving till his eyes watered. His fingers returned to his thighs, scratching deep. He needed to bleed. To force this feeling out of him, to rip this out off him. He needed to rip it out! 

What could he use? His bag was in the classroom along with Nakamura and his pants. Nothing in the tiny skirt pockets, not even a zipper. Nothing sharp, he could use. Running his hands over the door hinge proved futile, no loose screws. He turned and eyed the porcelain toilet paper holder. one swipe of a fist and it was shattered at his feet. The sharpest piece he dragged over his thigh. The relief hit him like a wall. The tension streamed away till only calm and silence remained. 

The blood dripped down his leg as he moved to his other thigh. He through his head back shuddering. Seconds of joy.   
Then the hatred. 

He stared at his sticky hands, watching the blood pooling around his knees. Nakamura’s skirt was up around his waist so it wasn't too messed up. One positive point. He couldn't really think of another. He had plasters... in his bag. He promised himself he’d stop being so weak. Look how long that lasted.   
Take stock of the situation. Supplies? Bloody tiles, broken porcelain and a failure of a body.   
He jumped as someone knocked on the door.

“Hey, whoever’s in there?” Called Isogai, “we’re looking for Nagisa! His moms here.”

Nagisa’s hands didn’t shake as he dug the shard deep in his leg. 

Nagisa stared as his mother walked away. It took serious effort and his coat to get Nakamura to give him his pants back, without anyone seeing the blood on his legs. Then came the meeting from the very depths of hell.

Now his mother was walking away, satisfied she still had him trapped. He felt eyes watching him so he smiled for the audience and exited stage left. 

Nagisa was on his knees, white satin pooled around him.   
Mother had celebrated their “reunion” with a special new party dress.   
Her breath was not on his neck as she whispered that her Nagisa would never ever leave her.  
Now he was alone staring at the plasters his mother hadn’t bothered to ask about.   
He tore the blade from his pencil sharpener and forced himself not to scream. 

He wandered through morning classes. Lunch time crept up like a mugger. 

“Nagisa! Want to finish what we started yesterday?” Called Nakumura.

Smile. Laugh it off. They’ll stop. They’ll get bored.  
Karma stood behind him and his breath was hot on his neck. 

He stumbled away as he heart refused to beat. Karma grabbed his wrist. Laughter. All around them. 

Eyes flicking around showed the Terasaka gang, The girls, even, even Kayano.   
A smile on her face. Just like she had back on the island. 

Not her.  
Not her too.  
Please.  
Please, everyone else, just let me have her. 

She laughed.

Nakamura grabbed his shoulders and Karma’s hands went to his waistcoat. They wouldn’t... change him... in front of everyone would they?  
They wouldn’t. They couldn't.  
Someone would stop them.

He pulled away, shaking his head.   
“Wait! I don’t want to wear... please I can’t!”

“Come on Nagisa! It will suit you!” He crooned.

“Don’t fight it Nagisa!” Calmed Okajima. “They’ll do it anyway! Get it over with!”  
The laughter rung in his ears.

Karma’s hand went to his waist and started pulling up his shirt.

Striking out blindly, Nagisa felt his first make contact with Karma’s face. Blood spurted out after a sick crack.   
Nagisa stared at his bloody knuckles in horrer.  
Silence filled the school yard.

“Nagisa?” Asked Kayano.

“I...I’m sorry I’m so so sorry” he chanted as he backed away from Karma’s raised fist. 

“You. Little. Bitch” he spat. 

“Karma I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to, I mean I don’t mean to...” he whispered as He dodged the first swing. 

“Get the fucking dress Nakamura” 

Sugino came forward arms held out in a symbol of peace. 

“Hey, I think this is going too far.” 

“Nakumura the dress.” 

Karma grabbed his hair and dragged him close. Nagisa’s vision turned painfully sharp like it always did when he was scared. Head buzzing he fought back sobs. 

“Get off me!” He voice cracking, making Karma sneer.

“No no Na-gi-sa. We were just playing a little game and you had to go and ruin it, didn’t you?” 

Why was no one helping? Why were they just watching?  
He twisted away but Karma held tighter. His bones clicked. 

Karma ripped off two of his waistcoat buttons and there was Nakamura with the dress in her hands and Nagisa clawed at Karma’s face till he let go and ran and ran till his heat almost stopped.

He was near the pool. Smelt the chlorine.   
Felt the familiar dull throbbing of bruises forming on his arms. 

Why had he acted the way he had? Why didn’t he just let them tease? It was their game, their thing! They did it all the time. Meant no harm. He should have just... just...

No. 

He was right. Hand clenched in a fist. 

They had gone too far. He’d been right to fight back. Now he wasn’t scared he realised how angry he was before.   
And.  
Karma knew. He was going to put that dress on him as punishment.   
To be cruel.  
It had been pointless.   
They were playing a game. But not with him. He had just been the toy.   
Hatred ripped through him so hard he spat on the ground.   
It was red.   
His clenched teeth had ripped the skin of his tongue to shreds.   
Disgusting.  
Revulsion streamed under his ski . He needed to tear it out, every last drop. 

The had always known.   
Always knew how much he hated their dresses, teasing, games.   
Always knew what they were doing to him. And he had never been able to stop them.  
He had pulled away, fought back. Said no. He had once begged them to stop. Begged them.   
And they had laughed. 

He stumbled forward through the trees.

Saw the icy clean blue of the pool. In its reflection he saw Karma. Nakamura. Mother. And I front of them all his pathetic, weak, miserable self. 

The water glitters in the sun. He knew it would be difficult. It took dedication. Desperation. 

He knew he could do it. 

The water was a soft as anything as it wrapped around him.

He swam forward till the edge was blurry and distant. 

He let himself sink.


End file.
